It's all about follow through

I can’t even count on both hands how many times I’ve told a guy I’d always be there for them, that I support them, that I will always care for them and love them. Sometimes they listen and other times they shut me out completely. Truth be told, it drains me and takes a lot for me to be that open, but that’s also who I am and how I was raised. I’m the girl who flew to San Francisco at the drop of a hat because her childhood friend’s mother was in a coma and she needed support. I’m the girl who helped not only her best friend, but helped her with her niece in her time of need. I’m the girl who watched her cousins for months right after her uncle passed away from a heart attack at the age of 43. I’m the girl who stayed with her grandma right after her grandpa passed away from cancer a few years after her uncle passed. I’m the girl who worries when her friends are down, when they are depressed, when something bothers them. I’m the girl who is always there for her family and been with them through every struggle, taking hits financially when needed. I’m the girl who wants everyone to be happy even if she isn’t at the time. I’m the girl who wants to help those in need.

I’m not telling you all of this for sympathy. I’m telling you so you understand who I am and where I came from. Loving someone means that no obstacle will change your mind. No matter what situation. You love someone unconditionally. You’re there for them no matter how big the struggle because that’s what friends do. You help each other out in their time of need and hope that they love you enough to reciprocate.

I could dwell and sometimes I do, sometimes more than I should, but it’s better to let it be what it will be. My last ex hurt me emotionally. I was with him for almost a decade and at the end of it all he was indifferent, which is worse than hating someone in my opinion. It meant he just didn’t care. I recently opened my heart back up to loving someone and it was left at a standstill. He had his reasonings and I respect that, but I often wonder how he feels, if he knows I care, if he knows I’ll always be there for him if he lets me in, or if he wants to shut me out completely. The uncertainty of it all drives me mad, but with this uncertainty also came a gift and that’s my ability to write again. The ability to write from the heart, and it’s a gift I will always be grateful that it came back to me.

Sometimes we have to walk in complete darkness in order to find the light again, and it might take days, or it might takes weeks, and sometimes it might even take months, but if we trust that there’s a bigger picture, then in the end it’ll all work out if we just keep believing. It’s all about follow through. Trust yourself and your emotions because if not you’ll live a life full of what if’s and regrets and that’s not a life worth living so be brave and tell someone you love them. Follow through and remember where there is darkness there will always be light, and love will always be there if you allow yourself to open back up again.

Dare to dream big in every aspect of your life. Go ahead. I dare you! :)